and it starts like:
If you book us, we will come, right? Well don't get yr hopes up just yet, there's a whole bunch of things to do before it happens. but happen it must, or we'll go batshit mental being stuck on this doomy grey rock.
We want to tour in late October/November. Is that good with you?
This is the for sure this seasons epic campaign. And obviously we're a punk band, which is a cooler way of saying SHIT WE NEED YOUR HELP:
If you're a gig promotor, college radio type, agent or basement show guy, someone who works in a cool indie store, person in a (good) band whose going to be playing around the same time, Mac or Laura from Merge, hipster blogger, anyone in the touring and banding business who could help us out in any way, or anyone interested in sponsorship, then CALL THIS NUMBER NOW:
and put COMING TO AMERICA in the title so we don't send you off to the spamyards.
Also, if you know someone like any of the above, please point their eyes and ears to us, and exaggerate ridiculously about what a big draw we are.
All you other people who don't care so much for the details but just want to see us play, plz read this:
:: we want to play everywhere, forever. please don't comment our facebook / twitter saying - HEY YOU SHOULD PLAY FANTASTICVILLE WHERE I'M FROM - because it just makes us sad that we're not U2. and noone should have to feel that, ever. A much more practical and positive thing would be to direct those feelings towards whoever puts on rad shows in your town. hook us up, maybe. then when we do play you can be all smug about it, and we'll think you're the king or queen of fantasticville. ::
So yeh, this is the start of our beautiful plan. In a few weeks we'll start sticking flags on a map and working out how much is possible. Then we'll work out all the awkward questions like money and money.
If this doesn't happen, we will kill ourselves. xoxoxo